"Washington Loved Black Metal" Coffee Mug
George Washington was trve kvlt. Don't believe it? Let's count the ways:
Why else would he use the harsh and dreary winter battle of Valley Forge to commission a stark painting? Serious black metal vibes right there. Dude knew aesthetics.
Multiple war drummers in his lineup for battles - talk about literal blast beats. The British weren't ready for that shrieking assault.
First thing OG George Dubya does as Commander? Decks out the Continental Army in tri-corner hats. Those are SPIKES bro. That's some straight-up black metal couture.
Cradle of Filth has nothing on Washington when it comes to the esoteric occult. Our Georgie boy here was a neck-deep Master Freemason for crying out loud. He and his pals burned more candles on a Friday night than an entire Batushka tour.
Talk about anti-establishment - this man orchestrated the most brutal 'fuck you' to the British crown in history. While modern black metal bands write songs about opposing authority, Washington actually overthrew his. That's kvlt as fvck.
When he heard about the Boston Tea Party, legend has it his first words were 'Tea? The fuck is this weak shit? No wonder they threw it in the harbor.' Next thing you know, he's forming the most brutal supergroup in colonial history with Sam Adams and John Hancock.
He wasn't just a 'Founding Father'—he was America's first Dark Patriarch, leading a revolution that would make any Norwegian church-burner accidentally crack a smile.
Crafted to endure countless coffee rituals and unforgiving dishwasher battles without fading. This tough as nails mug is built to last for years on end, but if you smash it fighting fascists... well, that's metal as hell to be honest. Rock on.
• Durable Ceramic

• Highest Quality ORCA Coating®

• Lead and BPA-free material
• Dishwasher and microwave safe
• 11oz - Height: 3.70" | Diameter: 3.19"
• 15oz - Height: 4.61" | Diameter: 3.27"
George Washington was trve kvlt. Don't believe it? Let's count the ways:
Why else would he use the harsh and dreary winter battle of Valley Forge to commission a stark painting? Serious black metal vibes right there. Dude knew aesthetics.
Multiple war drummers in his lineup for battles - talk about literal blast beats. The British weren't ready for that shrieking assault.
First thing OG George Dubya does as Commander? Decks out the Continental Army in tri-corner hats. Those are SPIKES bro. That's some straight-up black metal couture.
Cradle of Filth has nothing on Washington when it comes to the esoteric occult. Our Georgie boy here was a neck-deep Master Freemason for crying out loud. He and his pals burned more candles on a Friday night than an entire Batushka tour.
Talk about anti-establishment - this man orchestrated the most brutal 'fuck you' to the British crown in history. While modern black metal bands write songs about opposing authority, Washington actually overthrew his. That's kvlt as fvck.
When he heard about the Boston Tea Party, legend has it his first words were 'Tea? The fuck is this weak shit? No wonder they threw it in the harbor.' Next thing you know, he's forming the most brutal supergroup in colonial history with Sam Adams and John Hancock.
He wasn't just a 'Founding Father'—he was America's first Dark Patriarch, leading a revolution that would make any Norwegian church-burner accidentally crack a smile.
Crafted to endure countless coffee rituals and unforgiving dishwasher battles without fading. This tough as nails mug is built to last for years on end, but if you smash it fighting fascists... well, that's metal as hell to be honest. Rock on.
• Durable Ceramic

• Highest Quality ORCA Coating®

• Lead and BPA-free material
• Dishwasher and microwave safe
• 11oz - Height: 3.70" | Diameter: 3.19"
• 15oz - Height: 4.61" | Diameter: 3.27"
George Washington was trve kvlt. Don't believe it? Let's count the ways:
Why else would he use the harsh and dreary winter battle of Valley Forge to commission a stark painting? Serious black metal vibes right there. Dude knew aesthetics.
Multiple war drummers in his lineup for battles - talk about literal blast beats. The British weren't ready for that shrieking assault.
First thing OG George Dubya does as Commander? Decks out the Continental Army in tri-corner hats. Those are SPIKES bro. That's some straight-up black metal couture.
Cradle of Filth has nothing on Washington when it comes to the esoteric occult. Our Georgie boy here was a neck-deep Master Freemason for crying out loud. He and his pals burned more candles on a Friday night than an entire Batushka tour.
Talk about anti-establishment - this man orchestrated the most brutal 'fuck you' to the British crown in history. While modern black metal bands write songs about opposing authority, Washington actually overthrew his. That's kvlt as fvck.
When he heard about the Boston Tea Party, legend has it his first words were 'Tea? The fuck is this weak shit? No wonder they threw it in the harbor.' Next thing you know, he's forming the most brutal supergroup in colonial history with Sam Adams and John Hancock.
He wasn't just a 'Founding Father'—he was America's first Dark Patriarch, leading a revolution that would make any Norwegian church-burner accidentally crack a smile.
Crafted to endure countless coffee rituals and unforgiving dishwasher battles without fading. This tough as nails mug is built to last for years on end, but if you smash it fighting fascists... well, that's metal as hell to be honest. Rock on.
• Durable Ceramic

• Highest Quality ORCA Coating®

• Lead and BPA-free material
• Dishwasher and microwave safe
• 11oz - Height: 3.70" | Diameter: 3.19"
• 15oz - Height: 4.61" | Diameter: 3.27"
